Back in May I had a conversation with Ryon and his girlfriend Kaitey that would change all our lives forever. She told us she is going to have a baby in January or I should say; they are going to have a baby in January. You could've knocked me over with a feather. As I type these words I am still filled with many emotions that I am sorting through. This obviously was not their plan. They both were on another path completely and now? Well, now their lives are drawn together in a way like no other. I am pleased to say that a lot of talking, thinking, planning and prayer has happened since then and they have set a course. Her family is in New Hampshire and she would like to remain close-by to them. Ryon naturally needs to be with her. So, he has moved to New Hampshire to live with her and her family until they can get a place of their own.
I know he is a bag of nerves about all of this. Fatherhood, living with her family, the weight of being the provider for everyone, building a lasting relationship with Kaitey, and the loss of his carefree plans he so naturally took for granted. I feel absolutely heartbroken when he has a moment where he needs to vent and unloads on me. You NEVER want to see your children suffer, and he is. I'd like to say with reasonable assurance that this is all gonna work but I have to be honest with myself. I'm worried. Worried whether they have what it takes. Starting out under such pressure is not a great foundation and the odds are majorly stacked against them.
For the sake of their son I pray daily, even hourly, that they defy all the odds. I pray that that which originally brought them together will grow, deepen, mature, ripen and becomes the glue that bonds them all together. Forever. As one. Please God, do this for them and for our family. We like Kaitey, and she and Ryon are a good match. He has spent time getting to know her family as well and a bond is growing there, slowly. We ALL want the same thing, we are ALL in this together.
There is of course (speaking selfishly) a whole 'nother dynamic here. Peter and I are going to be g-g-grand- grandp-grandparents. There I said it! OMG, I was not prepared for this---one bit. Having had a few months to ponder my new role in life I have to say, I'm still not prepared for this. I'm a planner, a strategist, a thinker. Having this thrust upon me was a real shocker. I know Peter feels the same way. But what can we do? We can get ready and we can pray, because prayer changes things!
I know many will say or quietly think bad things about this whole situation. I too have thought some of those myself. But then I quiet my mind and realize that being mad or separating myself from our son, Kaitey or the baby is absolutely the worst thing to do. They need us with such huge changes ahead! We would only be adding to their stress if we behaved negatively and let our emotions run loose. Plus, I am humbled by what scripture tells us in Psalms 139:13-17 (long ago this became one of my favorite verses, ever)
"13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, oh God.
How vast is the sum of them!".
Knowing this tells me that God has a plan for this little one. He made him. Therefore he WAS meant to be and somewhere amidst all this uncertainty there IS a divine plan unfolding. Much the same with our Grace. Her birthmother obviously needed to make a plan. Hers was different. She chose to say "Goodbye" where Ryon and Kaitey have not. Nonetheless the underlying truth is the same; each child is precious no matter by which circumstances they arrive. God made them "wonderfully" and in His image. Therefore we are to love them, nurture them, be proud of the little people they will become.
Matthew 25:40 says:
“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me".
For now, I'm holding onto these words inspired by our Lord and Saviour. He is all I need. His word is enough.Come what may, we need to move to a place of understanding, acceptance, love, joy and celebration. A new life is soon to come. His name? Cyrus. He's named for a King. Thank you Jesus for being our Rock, our Prince of Peace. Our King of Kings. Stand by us Lord in this time of need. Surround our son Ryon and Kaitey and Cyrus. Through your Holy Spirit give them unity, peace, joy, strength, wisdom and most of all an enduring love for each other. Let this be the strong foundation on which they build their lives together and their family upon.
Whatever God brings together let nothing or no one separate. AMEN!
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